Eight days until my plane takes off from Helsinki-Vantaa. My last Helsinki-days so far have included cigarettes, cheap clothes, Hämeentie in both directions and a constant need to push some people away while pulling others closer.

I'm hoping Helsinki will bring me enough heartache and misery and overwhelming feelings in the eight days to come so that I won't miss it too much during my time away.

I can't get any sleep so I'm staying awake.

A quick pit-stop home before continuing this trip of mine.

Since leaving Helsinki on Monday afternoon I've realized that I actually don't like Suede very much, that my confusion isn't going nowhere quick, that I'm huge on procrastination and postponing decision-making, that I'm a bit scared of what's to come and that if my face was a bit finer and my body a bit slimmer I'd be a portrait craché of my mother in the beginning of the 80's. Right down to the bright coral bikini tops and distressed denim.

Dis-moi ce que tu penses de ma vie, de mon adolescence, Sébiastien Tellier's been echoing in my head for the whole day.

I'm going to take a time-out from this life of mine, first 500 km away from Helsinki, then switching to a location 120 km away. Feels good to let things go for a week, I'm especially looking forward to the 120 km one: a good road trip and a few laughs.

Running for the thrill of it, I suppose.

Seven miles below me, I can see the world and it ain't so big at all.

"Winters are always hard"

"But this winter's been treating me quite good."

"No it hasn't. Winters are all always hard. You won't notice it until summer comes, but when it comes, it hits you: how easy everything becomes once it's here."

Learning how to breathe in the midst of Winter and all that's destroying my happiness is hard.